1.     Two heads are better than one:
·        -The old adage is true.  In fact Proverbs 20:18a says, “Plans succeed through good counsel…” and 27:9 encourages us that, “The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.”

2.   Adulthood can steal away time to make new friends and meet people…small groups give some time back to you:
·        -Let’s face it life is busy.  As an adult it only gets busier.  It’s too easy to put your own personal social time “on hold".  Small groups can help you take some time for yourself to grow, be encouraged and have fun.

3.   Small groups help you bear life’s loads:
·        -Having people get under you for a time can really lighten the load of life.  It’s why Paul writes in Galatians 6:2 that,“Share each other's burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”

4.   It’s cool to see God’s gifts in others:
·       -Over the years I have loved seeing God’s gifts displayed in different packages! 1Corinthians 12:7 encourages us to remember that, “A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other.”  It is always an awesome experience to witness that exchange first hand.

5.    Watching other people’s faith grow can grow yours too!
·        -Faith is contagious!  Often times when I am running low, another person’s story or encouragement is like a drink of cool water on a scorching hot August day.  Paul knew this because he writes, “When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.” Romans 1:12

6.   Nice to know others are praying and cheering for you:
·        -Who doesn’t need some more pray-ers and cheer-ers in their life?

7.    You can make an eternal difference in someone’s life!
·        -When Paul talked to the Thessalonian church about Christ’s return he gave them this practical daily advice, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” (1 Thessalonian 5:11)  So if you want to make a difference…if you want to get ready for Christ’s return…if you are looking for something to keep you busy until then…do encouragement!

Reason #1: “I’m weird…and I don’t want you to know it!”  Let’s face it, I know this guy Mark Spencer and he’s weird.  I live with him everyday…I even hear his thoughts…and WOW they are weird.  All kidding aside, when I talk with people they are really concerned about how others will see them.  Furthermore, they are intimately aware of all their personal quirks.  Reality is we are all unique and a little weird…but this Sunday I will talk about how we can move past our keen sense of weirdness to risk getting to know others.

Reason #2: “WOW…you are even weirder than me!”  Just when you think you are the strangest person on the planet you bump into someone who relieves you of that honor.  In light of “Reason #1” I imagine we’re all in for some jolts like that.  An incredibly important life-skill to possess is “meaning-making”.  It helps you navigate that look on someone’s face with skillful precision so you can rightly discern what is actually happening in their head.  Think about the potential world peace if we could just understand each other a little better!  The sermon this Sunday will offer you some tools to apply towards that end.  

Reason #3: “This just feels weird”.  When “Reason #1” meets “Reason #2” is there any reason why it shouldn’t feel weird?!  Here’s a simple fact: all real learning feels weird.  When we are on the adventure of discovery, it takes us to places where we haven’t been before.  But, by enlisting where we have been and what do know; we can learn well.  You guessed it…we’ll talk more Sunday.  

Hope you will give Sunday’s message a listen…it could help you get to know that other person even better.

Had a great time with Susie Larson on KTIS.  Here is the link: http://www.faith900.com/category/faith-cf/

  Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city.  (Proverbs 16:32)

Wow!  Quite a response from yesterday’s sermon.  I am so appreciative of how earnestly the people of Bridgewood are pursuing God.  A number of you have requested some information from yesterday's message:

The youtube movie of the “Marshmallow Test”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzqfrNXvs4k

There are other longer copies out there as well.

The link for a great synopsis of Dr. Mischel’s original study at Stanford: 

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/05/18/090518fa_fact_lehrer

Lastly I wanted to recap yesterday’s message:

Bible text:Then he said to them all: "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. (Luke 9.23)

Yes, I risked running with a “cheesy acronym”, but hey I hope it helps you remember these integral parts of practicing self-control!

S-“Switch your focus and settle yourself down.” Remember to remember that God is with you and let the Prince of Peace quiet your body and your brain.  Impulse plays largely on two items: our over-stimulation and our “aloneness”.  When you deliberately turn them down you can focus and make wise choices.  

E-“Entrust your self to God and others.”  We are wired for dependency, so be sure that you are depending on the “Dependable One!” It is also critical that you have a group of people you can lean on as well.  This is why we are pressing towards forming some small groups designed to help us live out our faith.

L-“Lean on the cross and learn to wait.”  The cross is the “exchange place” for us.  As terrible as it was for Jesus, the cross has become a wonderful source of life for us.  Because of Calvary we are set free and invited to experience all the blessings of being a child of God.  Therefore, picking up that “cross” daily, is indeed a good thing!  It is important to note that part of cross-bearing is learning to wait.  Never forget that, “they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength” (Isaiah 40.31)

F- “Future fulfillment.”  The deepest, richest satisfaction comes from tasting God’s very best for us.  It may come wrapped in unusual circumstances which conceal unimagined blessings; but in the end we find our souls feasting on its goodness.  Truly, “God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.”  (J. Piper)

 

 

 

What’s the difference between being “busy” and being “hurried”?  Is there a difference?  I believe there is absolutely a difference between the two.  Think about it…Jesus was incredibly busy…but I seriously doubt he was ever hurried.  So in the midst of intense public demands and incredibly trying human needs Jesus found a way of being “unhurried”.  I suspect we can too. 

Now, there are a number of distinctions to note between hurried and busy.  The first distinction is that busy is something that is out side of our hearts and souls.  We have places to go, people to see and problems to address.  Those are very real, but those are not “us”.  Hurriedness, on the other hand, is very personal and internal.  It is a sense or motive for how we approach those people, places and things to do.  So pay attention to what happens to your “internal clock” when busy times hit.  This is why Paul urges us to “keep in step with the Spirit” (Gal. 5.25).  So in light of this, I try to pause during my day and listen for just how high my heart is “revving”.  I do this during meal times and between appointments.  If I notice I am running on panic, I enlist God’s help immediately!  Why don’t you pause right now and listen for the “idle of your internal engine”.  

A second distinction to note is how hurriedness produces a sense of isolation in us.  We become so preoccupied with our “stuff” that we race past the grace-packed awareness of God with us.  By losing that precious sense, we are soon running on our own strength and limited resources.  This leads to a certain sense of doom and panic because we know we are going to “run out”.  Dallas Willard says, "Hurry is the great enemy of spiritual life in our day because it will keep you from experiencing God's goodness and care for you from one moment to the next."  This can also happen with the people in our lives.  We stiff arm family and friends because we are “so busy”, but in doing so we are isolating ourselves and allowing hurry to set the pace.  What helps me combat this isolation is having a few people who watch out for me.  I have told them the warning signs to look for and they have full permission to apply the “brakes” when necessary!  Do you have people like that in your life?

Finally, when I am in touch with God’s leading there is a sense of accomplishment and completion.  It probably mirrors the Genesis account of God reviewing his construction and announcing, “it is good”.  If that sense is lost, I notice a growing feeling of meaninglessness.  I am doing a lot, but not getting a lot out of what I’m doing.  Days bleed into weeks which fade into months and I’m not sure what I’ve done and why.  For me having weekly times to plan and review time helps immensely.  I do this in a devotional manner where I am conversing with God and praying through my calendar.  By doing this I re-yoke with Jesus and experience the ease of His yoke which is gentle.

Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience. (Hebrews 4.11)

You should take another glance at that verse.  It is a weird concept:  “make every effort…to enter that rest…”  Effort and rest.  Hmmm.  Sounds like a contradiction doesn’t it?  Effort and rest.  Yet in the midst of this biblical parody lies one of the greatest keys to our spiritual growth; we must learn to rest in God.  

John Ortberg tells a story that illustrates our need to practice Hebrews 4:11.  He writes, “When we moved to Chicago, we had little kids. The pace of our lives had accelerated tremendously. I called Dallas Willard, the wisest person about spiritual life that I know, and described to him kind of what was going on in our lives, and said, "What do I need to do if I want to be spiritually healthy and alive and vital? What do I need to do?"  It was a long pause, and then he just came up with this sentence I have never forgotten. He said, "You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life." Then there was another long pause, and then I said, "Okay, what else have you got because I don't have a lot of time and I want as much wisdom as I can get out of you in these few moments." Then there was another long pause, and he said, "There is nothing else." He said, "Hurry is the great enemy of spiritual life in our day. 

Wow!  Hurry is the great enemy of our spiritual growth today.  So we must eliminate hurry and find rest.  I remember reading a missionaries account while ministering in Africa.  They had been invited into an unreached area, but this required a huge effort of mobilization.  The terrain was challenging and the time was short.  In traveling the missionary pushed the team hard.  They were hurried.  After three days of this frenzied effort all of the African helpers suddenly dropped what they were carrying and sat down.  The missionary panicked and instructed the interpreter to find out what was going on.  The Africans responded by saying, “they were sitting down waiting for their souls to catch up”!  They were about the business of ruthlessly eliminating hurry from their lives.  

I am guessing most of us can relate to this battle with hurry.  I want to take the next few posts and talk about ways we can practically conquer hurry and learn to enter into the great rest promised to us. 

 

 

 

Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed. The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with.  James 5.16 (message)

One common reason for people passing on the “village concept” is the terror of being known.  All of us live with a fairly acute awareness of our personal shortcomings, faults and miscues.  We wonder quietly (and nervously), "what would they think of me if they knew?"  But take a moment to speculate from the opposite direction-what if they don’t know?  That’s a critical consideration because our sense of experiencing love is directly related to our openness to being known.  Therefore, those moments when we are "found out" can become places where love conquers allowing us to triumph over hidden weaknesses as well!  

I remember early in our marriage trying my best to be social.  Our church was packed with young couples and we were perpetually invited out.  Now I’m an introvert and back then I was pretty unsure of myself.  So, oftentimes I would just decline social invites out of fear of being known.  My wife, on the other hand, is extroverted and outgoing.  Yes you guessed it, one day we had a “show-down” at the intersection of “introvert street” and “extrovert boulevard”.  She was exasperated by my repeatedly turning down friends and wanted to know what was going on.  I had a choice to make.  I could risk “being known”, or flee down the familiar path of defensiveness and hiding.  Thanks to the Holy Spirit’s stranglehold on my neck, I chose wisely and ventured out into being known.  (Yes there are times when the Spirit is not quite so gentle!)  

After a surprisingly comfortable conversation my wife assured me, “Mark I love you, how can I help you in this?”  Now we have to be careful in these conversations.  In particular, we need to notice how we hear things.  I could have misread her comments to say things like: “Mark, I love you…now shape up buddy” or, “Mark I love you…don’t you love me enough to just do this?”  But the reality was she loved me and wanted to be helpful.  Those contrary thoughts were my issue to wrestle and displayed how rarely I had risked being known.  

Continuing the conversation moved us toward resolve.  She asked, “What can I do to help?”  I answered, “Pray”.  She assured me she was.  I then shared that I really did want to change, but it was hard.  I told her that I was meeting with our pastor and a friend, but it was just slow going.  She understood.  Then I shared something that I would not have normally risked.  I told her that I would appreciate it if she wouldn’t be let down when I declined on some social outings.  I explained that I often felt trapped by potentially disappointing others-especially her.  So rather than having a sense of choice, I always felt like I “had to”.   Part of being known is stretching to share how you truly feel and what you really want in a situation.  It may result in conflict or rejection…but it can also lead to a deeper sense of being known and understood.  To my amazement she quickly and cheerfully said she understood and would do her best not to pressure me in any way.  

So for the next three years…yes you read that right…three years…she patiently supported me.  The result was an epiphany where love broke through.  It was a heart-splitting revelation cracking through my hard-shelled interior like an oak tree laid open by lightening.  I realized then that this woman really loved me.  Up until then the only other person I was convinced loved me was my mom and I wrote that off as something she had to do!  After all, she was my mom.  But my wife-she chose me.  Yet when she saw my not so lovely side, she bore with me patiently for those three years!   In the end, her knowing of me led to my experiencing love…real agape love.  Her love and patience embraced my weakness bringing real transformation and community.  So it is with villages.  People learn to stretch towards one another in divinely inspired ways.  As they do, one risks being known while the others risk love and grace.  When they meet, the village becomes paradise...and wouldn't that be worth it?

I've had a number of people talk with me about my last post.  Deep inside their hearts they agree with the "village" concept, but have been burnt in the process of opening up.  Indeed...not everyone that wishes to live in our "villages" will be a perfect neighbor!  Hence this village building is a lot of work.  It takes time, effort, thought and more effort.  So I know...you are saying..."Mark how can that be worth it?" 

Here's where Harvard takes over.  They conducted a revealing study examining the impact of relationships on health (Alameda County Study).  They tracked 7000 people over 9 years and pulled out some amazing findings!  For example, people who had bad health habits (smoking, poor eating habits, obesity or excessive alcohol use) but strong social ties lived significantly longer than people who had great health habits but were isolated.  In fact, the researchers concluded that isolated people are 3 times more likely to die than those with strong social connections.  Robert Putnam, in another Harvard study, put it this way "if you belong to no social group but decide to join one...just one...you will cut your risk of dying over the next year in half".  Wow.  That's the positive impact of a good village. 

So the relevance of God's statement, "it's not good for man to be alone...." is made clearer to us through such studies.  Having a village is not an option...but a necessity for a healthy and happy life.  But how can we be wise in the process?  I will pick that up in my next post.  Until then make it your prayer to discover your village...and perhaps be part of a village for someone else.